However, this voice can often be more harmful than helpful, particularly when it gets into excessive negativity. This negative self-talk can really bring us down.
At a Glance
Negative self-talk is something that most of us experience from time to time, and it comes in many forms. It also creates significant stress, not only for us but for those around us if we're not careful. Here's what you need to know about negative self-talk and its effects on your body, mind, life, and loved ones.
The influence of negative thoughts is far-reaching. There’s no part of your life that it escapes. It affects you mentally, emotionally, and physically. It limits your ability to achieve and to enjoy life.
Too fat, too thin, disorganised, hair’s a mess, skin’s breaking out, career’s at a standstill, not earning enough, behind at work, letting my kids down, unattractive to my partner, bad friend... When’s the last time you berated yourself with one of these criticisms?
Only the supremely self-loving among us could truthfully say they haven’t had one of these intrusive thoughts recently — and it’s perfectly normal that you have. But once these thoughts become obsessions, affecting our lives and frequently spilling over into conversations with those around us, that’s when they become a problem.“Negative self-talk is the tendency of a person to address themselves, in their inner talk, in a judgmental, critical or condescending way,” says Dr Vassiliki Simoglou, a CDA-licensed psychologist at Dubai’s Thrive Wellbeing Centre. “It becomes abnormal when it is too frequent, for instance when it overtakes the way a person sees themselves, when it’s exclusive, not counter-balanced by healthier ways of thinking about oneself, and when it begins affecting the individual’s day-to-day functioning, in their work and their relationships.” It's that final point that’s perhaps the most disturbing aspect of such pronounced internal negativity. We are all aware of how beating ourselves up with unnecessary criticism can hold us back, but what happens to the people we care about when it gets out of control?
It may seem like a realistic appraisal of a situation ("I got a C on this test. I guess I'm not good at math."), only to devolve into a fear-based fantasy ("I'll never be able to go to a good college").
The musings of your inner critic may sound a lot like a critical parent or friend from your past. It can follow the path of typical cognitive distortions: catastrophizing, blaming, and the like.
Basically, negative self-talk is any inner dialogue you have with yourself that may be limiting your ability to believe in yourself and your own abilities and to reach your potential. It is any thought that diminishes your ability to make positive changes in your life or your confidence in yourself to do so.
How this negative self talk affects you -- the results are depression, stress , de- motivation and most importantly , as the external factors are also involved along with our inner voice . When the outer voices become more reactive and start taking away your own voice you become deaf to your own opinions . Your inner critic becomes more stronger and you start going against your own positive vibe.
Your negative self talk pushes you to the myth of being a "Perfectionist"which is really not possible . When you criticize yourself , you tend to feel that if you become perfect in everything then there will be no negativity around- but perfection and being perfect is not possible . You can go ahead to think to be best in what you do but perfection is an addiction which is dangerous.
Relationship Challenges are huge when you suffer from negative self talk , your insecurity about yourself stops you to open up and trust others, you cannot have a balance to understand others and it affects your relationships both personally and professionally .
Negative self-talk isn't just stressful; it can also make it difficult to get motivated and achieve your goals
While vocalising this negativity can have harmful repercussions in the workplace and in relationships, it's in the process of child-rearing where its full and most damaging effects become apparent. “When examining family relationships, particularly between parents and children, it becomes evident that self-criticism within parents can lead to a cycle of criticism within the family dynamic”.
Consequences of Negative Self-Talk
Negative self-talk can affect us in some pretty damaging ways.
Higher Risk of Mental Health Problems
Research has found that excessive rumination is linked to an increased risk of mental health problems including
- Depression
- Generalized anxiety disorder
- Post traumatic stress disorder(PTSD)
- Psychosis
- Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD)
- Social anxiety disorder
Focusing on negative thoughts may lead to decreased motivation and greater feeling of helplessness. This type of critical inner dialogue has even been linked to depression, so it's definitely something to fix.
The lethal consequences of negative self talk can bring in loads of disturbances and can uproot your positive instincts . We all know, at every instances we get too much of mixed experiences which either kill us or give us a reason to live, but it is on us
Increased Stress
Those who frequently engage in negative self-talk tend to be more stressed. This is in large part because their reality is altered to create an experience where they can't reach the goals they've set for themselves.
Reduced Success
One of the most obvious drawbacks of negative self-talk is that it's not positive. This sounds simplistic, but research has shown that positive self-talk is a great predictor of success..
How to Minimize Negative Self-Talk
There are many ways to reduce the self-talk in your daily life. Different strategies work better for different people, so try a few on and see which ones are most effective for you.
Catch Your Critic
Learn to notice when you're being self-critical so you can begin to stop. For example, notice when you say things to yourself that you wouldn't say to a good friend or a child.
Remember That Thoughts Are Not Facts
Thinking negative things about yourself may feel like astute observations, but your thoughts and feelings about yourself can definitely not be considered accurate information. Your thoughts can be skewed like everyone else's, subject to biases and the influence of your moods.
Think Like a Friend
When our inner critic is at its worst, it can sound like our worst enemy. Often we'll say things to ourselves in our heads that we'd never say to a friend. Why not reverse this and—when you catch yourself speaking negatively in your head—make it a point to imagine yourself saying this to a treasured friend.
If you know you wouldn't say it this way, think of how you'd share your thoughts with a good friend or what you'd like a good friend to say to you. This is a great way to shift your self-talk in general.
Shift Your Perspective
Sometimes looking at things in the long term can help you to realize that you may be placing too great an emphasis on something. For example, you may ask yourself if something you're upset by will really matter in five years or even one.
A fighting spirit with never ending positive vibes, or a loser who feels that the entire environment is conspiring against me . Leaving this thought incomplete to think ---- ultimately to come back with a transformation to change your negative self talk to a positive self talk and rediscover a NEW YOU.
What This Means For You
Negative self-talk can be devastating for your mental well-being. It undercuts your motivation, leaves you susceptible to mental health problems, and makes it harder to be successful in life. Fortunately, you can take steps to change negative thoughts into more realistic or positive ones.
Challenging negative self-talk, replacing negative thoughts, and treating yourself like you would a friend are just a few tactics that can help. If you still struggle to keep those negative thoughts under control, consider talking to a mental health professional.
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